As a nondual coach, you may be ready to let go of the label of “coach,” allowing your role to flow naturally without attachment. However, your client may still hold onto the idea of you as the “coach” and themselves as the “coachee.” To invite a client into non-positional relating, where the dynamic flows effortlessly, it’s essential to identify and transcend the typical expectations they may have about the coaching process. The sooner these expectations are addressed, the more naturally the coaching can unfold.

Here are some common beliefs and expectations that clients often hold, consciously or unconsciously, which can block the flow of non-positional coaching:

1. “The coach knows more than I do.”
   • Belief: The coach is perceived as the authority with more knowledge or insight into nonduality.
   • Tip: Rather than reinforcing this dynamic, demonstrate through dialogue that wisdom flows equally between both parties. Reflect the client’s insights back to them to show that they already possess deep understanding.
2. “The coach is here to fix me.”
   • Belief: The client may expect that the coach’s role is to solve their problems or “fix” them.
   • Tip: Shift the conversation from problem-solving to presence. Encourage the client to see that there is nothing to fix, only an opportunity to be present with what arises.
3. “I must impress the coach with my progress.”
   • Belief: The client might feel the need to show improvement or “get it right” to meet the coach’s expectations.
   • Tip: Reassure the client that there is no performance to measure or judge. Invite them into a space where simply being, without trying to achieve something, is the goal.
4. “The coach will provide the answers I need.”
   • Belief: The client may expect clear guidance or specific answers from the coach.
   • Tip: Instead of giving direct answers, help the client explore their own awareness. Ask questions that lead them back to their own inner knowing, emphasizing that they already hold the answers.
5. “Using the right terminology means I understand nonduality.”
   • Belief: The client might believe that using certain language or concepts proves their understanding of nonduality.
   • Tip: Gently point out that nonduality is not about terminology but about direct experience. Invite the client to drop the need for the “right words” and focus on being present in the moment.
6. “The coach is more advanced on the spiritual path.”
   • Belief: The client may see the coach as spiritually superior or further along the path.
   • Tip: Break down this hierarchy by sharing your own moments of not-knowing or imperfection. This can help the client recognize that there is no “path” or level to measure, just an unfolding of what already is.
7. “The coach is here to explain nonduality to me.”
   • Belief: The client expects the coach to impart knowledge or teach them nonduality.
   • Tip: Show the client that nonduality is not something that can be taught—it’s something they already understand. Reflect their insights, guide them toward their own realizations, and emphasize that they have already experienced the essence of nonduality.

Conclusion

The key to transcending these expectations is not through explaining nonduality but by showing the client that they already fully understand it. The beliefs and expectations that stand in the way of natural, non-positional relating are often unconscious, but once revealed, they can dissolve. As a nondual coach, your role is to help your client recognize this shared understanding, allowing the process to unfold with ease and clarity.