What is the difference between a discussion and a dialogue, and how does this relate to the role of a therapist (or coach/teacher)?

A discussion often involves a need to agree or disagree. In contrast, a dialogue allows for deeper listening without the need to reach a conclusion. When engaged in dialogue, both the speaker and listener are free from the pressure to convince or be convinced. The communication flows naturally, creating space for true understanding and connection.

In many ways, the traditional role of a therapist can be compared to a discussion. Therapists often view their clients as systems to be analyzed and fixed—replacing unhealthy parts with healthy ones. This approach can be effective, improving mental health by treating the human mind like a machine. However, this perspective may overlook the deeper complexity of human nature.

True listening, like in dialogue, goes beyond this mechanical approach. In dialogue, there is no need to impose solutions or fix the other person. Instead, both parties enter a shared space where understanding emerges naturally. Similarly, a therapist (or coach/teacher) who listens without trying to fix allows for a more authentic connection with their client.

Therapists and coaches often face the challenge of working with a seemingly endless complexity in human beings. If the human system is so complex, can any solution truly “fix” it? By reducing a person to a mechanical system, even well-intentioned therapeutic interventions can miss the deeper, collective aspects of the problem.

Both in dialogue and therapy, there is value in stepping beyond the need to fix or agree. Just as true dialogue creates a unified space between speaker and listener, a more open and expansive form of coaching or therapy allows for a holistic approach. When the coach or therapist moves beyond fixed roles, both coach and client can fully engage with the shared experience of growth and understanding.

If this holds true for a therapist, does it also hold true for you as a coach?