Me: “Hi ChatGPT, explain nonduality in High Valyrian.”
ChatGPT: “Lādrē urne unē sēte iehor. Vezof līr morghūlis, rhaeshis kostōba issi.”

If you’re not a Game of Thrones fan, you probably wouldn’t understand any of it. But when we translate the sentences to English, we get the odd impression that we understand the explanation. We connect it to what we think we “know,” deluding ourselves into believing we actually know.

Whether we use a fantasy language or our native language doesn’t matter. Nonduality cannot be understood. It doesn’t even matter how we talk (or don’t talk) about it either. Still, as nondual enthusiasts, we try to use helpful pointers anyway. I think that’s beautiful. Every nondual service provider has their own distinctive style. Connecting with your natural style is a lovely feeling. Of course, you adapt to your client’s needs, but you can also find clients who are most receptive to your specific style.

There is no correct or more enlightened style of guiding to nondual understanding.

If you look at teachers, there are loud teachers and soft-spoken teachers. There are crazy, extroverted characters and very normal, humble characters. They are all pointing us to the same truths. It will be the same among coaches. We each filter this understanding through our unique personalities and that is how we will communicate. What we can do is ensure we have the necessary skills and knowledge to guide others.

So, rid yourself of the belief that there is a correct or better style. Just be yourself. However, I do advise you to take notes on what works and what doesn’t. This is just good coaching practice. Try out new things, new exercises, or pointers, and share with the client when you’re trying out something new. I’m always transparent about these things because it’s the client’s path, not yours. If you’re trying something new and not yet sure about it, the client may notice, and you want to ensure you don’t lose trust by being vague about it.

Your style can really be unique in how you use humor and how challenging you are, how much pressure you put on the client to do the work. My personal style is to use humor and lightness. I want it to be fun and enjoyable. Nonduality can become very serious, so lightening it up is often helpful. But that is not everyone’s style. Some are more about the love and beauty of it, speak very poetically, and are more earnest. That’s okay too. I like to combine humor with challenge. I hit the client over the head with a hammer but wink at them simultaneously. That’s just me. It works well for the type of clients I get.

The point is, find your own style and don’t apologize for it. You will do this best in accordance with your nature. Honor “yourself” and honor the client. You’ll find your style is going to change over time, just like anything else. But that will only be the case if you discover and own your current style. Otherwise, you might stay stuck in a too cautious approach that is based on the styles of gurus you once followed.